Friday, 19 September 2008

Avast, Me Hearties!

You know, today I was all set to write a pirate-speak post, a light-hearted piece to announce my triumphant return from the depths of Davy Jones’ locker to the ranks of those with fully-functional computers and safe internet access. But as the hours crawled almost imperceptibly by to the time when I could thankfully tuck my children into bed and have a microsecond’s peace and quiet before I collapsed with weariness myself, I realised I hadn’t the heart for Yo-ho-ho! or Shiver me timbers! My thoughts had grown as dark as Edward Teach’s famous beard. I’ve had a bad day.

Not a bad day as in lives lost or all my worldly possessions destroyed, nothing like that. Despite my flippant whinging in almost every post, I know my life is great, relatively speaking. Still, the realisation that one is woefully substandard at every endeavour one has undertaken – wife, mother, housekeeper, writer, blogger, lowly minion at the Department of Meat Products – is unlikely to induce in one a state of optimism like that of the scurvy wench Pollyanna. And the guilt of knowing I have nothing really to complain about, yet still feeling like the sloop bearing down on me has run up the jolly roger and is preparing for a broadside and boarding, only adds to the miserable richness of my self-pity stew.

But that’s life, and my usual harsh admonishment in such cases is to suck it up and carry on, doing better in the future. So I’m trying, but ye may have sailed many a sea afore the kraken of despondence loosens its grip on my frigate. Until then, there’ll be no talking like a pirate for me.


jan said...

We have to have something to complain about before we can whine?

Strange concept.

ut si said...

Ignore Pollyanna...she was on Prozac.
Good to see you're back ya wench!

Little Snoring said...

Hope you are feeling better and someone else at the Meat Department might take sympathy and remove the little loved ones from your legs and take them in a long car journey.

Anonymous said...

I have been missing you Ms Polony. Perhaps forcing yourself to talk like a pirate all day in real life would cheer you up? I am willing to give it a go if you will.. this is a real promise as I am as miserable as youi!!

Jules said...

I often feel like this. I really do.

I feel like life is being a completey whore to me but then I put it into a bigger scheme perspective and realise I should just chin up and get on with it.

we only can live in our realities and not that of a million others. So, in our little personal world our struggles are real and challenging and they deserve attention.

Lonie Polony said...

Hello Jan, apparently that is the accepted procedure, yes. Never stops me though :)

Thanks ut si! I loathe Pollyanna.

Thanks to you too, littlesnoring. The kids aren't even badly behaved really, they're lovely little things but a lot of work at the moment! It's just that there are so many things I need to do and want to do every day, but can't meet all the demands (I know there are many many women who can do what I should do and more, but I'm disappointingly less capable than I would like). I know, I know...that's life.

Aw Mutley, you've been missing me? I hope you are not miserable any more. I will come and visit when Mr. Lonie enables internet on my new computer (yes, I know it's embarrassing I can't do it myself)

Thanks for understanding, Jules (and for not reminding me you have more children to cope with than I, if I recall!). You offer sage and compassionate advice and I appreciate it :)

Miles McClagan said...

Whatever happened to Pollyanna? They were a great band - Brittle then Broken, that was one of theirs!

Ah, mid 90s Triple J, there was nothing you couldn't teach me...

hazelblackberry said...


Julie is right; listen to her. Mark her words, if you will.

And at least you know you're tops at pirate speak.

Good to see you back, old bean.

Lonie Polony said...

Hello Miles - I don't rightly know. Disappeared along with the rest of the bands of my heyday, I suppose :)

HB - thanks, old bean. I'm doubly ashamed now that I know your recent troubles. You're too good to me!