Friday, 31 July 2009

Bitchin' Blog

This is going to sound horribly mean and spiteful, but sometimes, there are some things that have to be said. I’m afraid that if I don’t spit these poisonous thoughts out now, they’ll accidentally blurt out during my first encounter with a long-absent colleague tomorrow. These are lessons that, based on recent data, I’ve learnt from the Department of Meat Products:

* Apparently it’s alright to appear for a mere total of three weeks at one’s desk even though one has been employed in the team for 18 months. You see, even after secondment interstate, practically every training course available and a six-week junket to a delightful tropical isle, one can always find an extra five weeks of courses to go on in order to avoid that pesky little thing called work.

* When one is at one’s desk instead of away doing unnecessary training, one should while away that tedious time on the most superfluous tasks one can reasonably pretend are related to the work one is actually employed to do.

* If one is going to take indefinite stress leave over trivial non-incidents, one should time it to ensure a smooth transition into the above-mentioned six-week junket. There’s no sense in being at work when one can be out shopping for bikinis and sunglasses.

* One needs at least five days at home to recover from nearly two months in an island paradise. Those twenty-hour working weeks and business class flights are terribly taxing, you know.

Yes, I know jealousy and bitterness are ugly things. It’s just that, for the last several weeks I’ve been shouldering a heavy workload on my own while others are off padding their CVs and enjoying themselves. Then I discover that instead of coming back and helping, or even allowing the team to share in the results of tens of thousands of dollars worth of brain-stuffing, the beneficiaries of this uncharacteristic Departmental munificence are not expected to help out in any useful way. How silly I was to make the logical assumption that the training which cost so much time and money would be applied in a direct and appropriate way! Clearly, I still have a lot to learn about fathoming the decision-making processes of recruitment officers and upper management.

I wonder if they offer a training course for that?


Rita said...

Aaah, Lonie - I have asked myself that very question so many times! I too have felt the bile rising in those very same situations!
I hate those people!

Little Snoring said...

What is it about stress leave? The ones that are truly stressed are never the ones that take the leave. I feel for your level of frustration, too bad it is unlikely that you will ever be able to tell them to exactly what you think!

By the way how was Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?

Esz said...

Gah how frustrating. I feel your pain. Currently our resident hypochondriac is finding herself in a 'delicate condition' (ie PREGGERS) so you can imagine the whinging has intensified to an unfathomable level.

Interestingly - my line of work is directly related to your line of work (we're in food packaging, vacuum packaging to be exact - hint hint - ...sure you're not a client of ours?? ;-P)

Lonie Polony said...

Hey there Rita, yes I'm quite frustrated at a couple of our people at the moment. Dreading next week when I have to sit next to one of them...

Hello Littlesnoring, yes one of the people is quite the delicate flower, so telling them what one thinks is out of the question (unless I want her to go on more indefinite stress leave!) P&P&Z was okay I guess, not as amusing as I'd hoped, but it had some fun parts. Some of the added passages were jarring and silly though, not as cleverly written or thought through as it could have been. I hear the movie rights have been sold.

Hi Esz, I surely do know what it's like to put up with a demanding pregnant colleague (although I've been one three times, so perhaps I shouldn't complain...) In fact, I've been waiting for one of my people to announce her pregnancy. That's the only reasonable excuse I will accept for her irrational and demoralising behaviour. A surreptitious inspection of her belly proved inconclusive, though :)