Friday, 26 January 2007

Lonie Polony’s Lexical Guide to Australia Day Family Outings

Pleasant and enjoyable: A picnic with my family on the grass beside a river while we watch people swimming and playing cricket.

Nuisance: Tenacious ants crawling all over our rug, reminding me why I don’t like picnicking and outdoorsy things.

Tasty: A lunch of ham and cheese rolls, hard-boiled eggs and cinnamon buns.

Unpalatable: Master Lonie’s lunch of leaves and twigs. Insufficient data to compare with his sand feast from a couple of weeks ago.

Exhilarating: A ride on the local stainless steel bobsled.

Short-sightedness: Letting Miss Lonie have her fifth marshmallow in the car on the way home.

Dreadful: The tell-tale throat sound of imminent vomit-eruption.

Frantic: Me shouting, “Pull over!” to Mr. Lonie, who once again displays a pathological unwillingness to do so even when a passenger is upwardly-ejecting stomach contents.

Stench: Partially digested ham and cheese roll, hard-boiled egg, cinnamon bun and marshmallows spewed over clothes, face, hair and car-seat.

Inexplicable: Spray-pattern of vomit, which indicates a gravity-defying chuck up onto Miss Lonie’s hat

Unpleasant and unenjoyable: Removing and stripping car seat, locating and cleaning each of the hundred nooks and crevices vomit has seeped into.

Serendipity: Finding $2 partially submerged in spew.

6 comments:

foodkitty said...

Poor Miss Lonie; I sympatise - it's always the 5th marshmallow that does it to me too; othertimes it's the vodka slammers...

mutleythedog said...

Thats life Ms.P - at least she doesn't like Chicken Vindaloo or Guiness which makes infinitely worse vomit.

Lonie Polony said...

I hope it's a looooooooooong time before my little girl starts on vodka slammers and Guinness!

mutleythedog said...

Well thats ruined my birthday present, I guess i'll have to drink it myself!

Anonymous said...

Vomit ... vomit vomit vomit.

River said...

4 year old-waist length hair-fluffy pink jammies-brand new quilt-3am-pea soup vomit......at least there weren't crevices for seepage.......