Friday, 17 October 2008

Hosting a Successful Dinner Party

“First, make sure you agree to host dinner at your house, without really meaning to. It helps if your place is the smallest and shabbiest available venue. Don’t worry that your dining table only seats four – the surplus adults will be delighted by the novel experience of eating their dinner on the couch, at the coffee table.

Remember to invite your parents-in-law (again, without really intending to). It’s alright if you’re hosting an Indian food night; your father-in-law will, after seventy-odd years, suddenly decide that it’s okay to eat something other than English-style meat and potatoes. And your mother-in-law won’t criticise you, your house or the food. She’ll do all that behind your back where you needn’t hear it.

Decide to make a complicated and risky cake for the very first time. The results will be even more spectacular if you run out of time to do it the night before, and have to squeeze baking into a very busy morning.

Lastly, ensure all the cleaning and tidying is left so late it is only partially completed. Your guests will enjoy the homey ambience of your child-modified décor.”
I am sorely regretting telling Mr. Lonie we should entertain, and am experiencing the first hints of panic about tomorrow…


Rita said...

Oh Lonie - your life sounds so similar to my previous one of young mum! Your invitation, dinner party plans and housework/prep timeframes resonate! The m-i-l scenario is even scarily accurate! Look, someone's got to do it, and it might as well be someone who can actually laugh at themselves, and the predicaments they manage to get themselves into!
Wish I were closer as I'd offer to cook for you. As it is, best of luck with it, and remember that whatever the outcome, it'll be a long forgotten memory in 2 weeks time after the dog bites the neighbour's leg, or something equally as disastrous!

hazelblackberry said...

How did it go; how did it go?? Did anyone get diabolically drunk and cause a scene? Was that someone YOU?

Miles McClagan said...

I realised the other day I have never once hosted a dinner seems like something I should have done...oh well, one day, canapes will be served!

Lonie Polony said...

Hi Rita - thanks for the sympathy and offer of cooking. I actually got take-away, as I decided I couldn't clean AND cook. Besides, the restaurant did more delicious tandoor delights, curries and naans than I could ever ever make myself. Pity about the cost though. Why is good Indian so expensive. Is it the spices?

LOL at HB! No, it was a family dinner so none of that, and I don't really drink anyway (well, not after the last few times I've been diabolically drunk and caused embarrassing scenes...)

MM - it's an overrated experience, I found. Too bad Dad has roped me into it as a permanent arrangement now :(