Friday, 9 February 2007

Looking On The Bright Side

With just over six weeks left until I return to full-time (paid) work, I’ve been having some trouble psyching myself up for it. After racking my brains, I’ve managed to come up with some reasons why (so I’m trying to convince myself) leaving my babies and going back to the office will be a good thing:

1) None of my colleagues will expect me to suckle them when they’re thirsty or tired or in the mood for a snack. (The job will suck my energy and enthusiasm instead. Or maybe just suck.)

2) My job description won’t include cleaning up sundry human excrement. (I’ll just have to deal with sundry metaphorical excrement while IT completes its glacially slow computer access procedures, and my new boss assigns me monkey work which will become a permanent duty.)

3) I won’t have to continually watch my workmates and stop them from seeking out and trying to eat the most disgusting inedible thing in the room. (I may, however, have to occasionally pay exorbitant amounts to eat the most disgusting and inedible thing in the room. The cafeteria calls it ‘lunch’.)

4) My co-workers are unlikely to wander into the toilet stall with me and enquire whether I’m doing a pooh-pooh. (Let’s hope my bowel remembers how to avoid the dreaded workplace plop, or asking will be unnecessary!)

Six weeks left. Still plenty of time to win the lottery.

3 comments:

foodkitty said...

Ah yes, so many people have yet to master that much needed workplace skill - the mercy flush!

Nellie said...

Oh Leonie, I feel for you luvvy. Funny how the in(s)ane drudgery of caring for kidlets full-time seems suddenly appealing when faced with the prospect of returning to work.

At least you'll get some adult conversation during the day.

Have you got childcare sorted? The thought of putting my 2 into full-time care freaks me out; how do you feel about it?

I am fortunate to have a choice in this matter, indeed.

Nellie

Lonie Polony said...

*Sigh* childcare is a wrench for me, I'd stay home with them except for the fact I selfishly want to maintain a reasonably comfortable lifestyle. Luckily we have a lovely community childcare centre (ie: not evil corporate one) for both of them, Miss Lonie has been there full-time before and she always enjoys it there. One good thing about childcare is that the kids get to play all day and do painting and fun stuff, instead of hearing me tell them I'm too busy to play with them because I have to do washing up, laundry, vacuuming etc.