Saturday, 7 April 2007

Exhausted and Blasphemous

The intelligence and aptitude tests I was forced to take for my current job are obviously not the dunce-filters my department hoped they were, because I find myself burdened with responsibilities I feel grossly incompetent of shouldering to my satisfaction.

After weekdays now spent alternately berating myself for being an ignorant moron whose underachievement must surely become clear to my colleagues and supervisors once a reasonable period for patient understanding has expired, and marvelling at the contradiction within my ethos which allows me to adopt a ‘good enough is good enough’ attitude towards practically everything else but places such high demands on my performance in a position which lost its lustre long ago, I find I have insufficient energy and brain power remaining to formulate a blog entry of any description, let alone a mildly diverting one. Weekends have not been spared, either; my former days of rest are now victims of the cruel housework:spare time equation.

So, Dear Readers, thanks for your loyalty. While I have absolutely no illusions about the interest in the earth-shattering reports I'm paid to produce, on things I can’t imagine anyone possibly caring about, it’s nice to know that someone reads and perhaps enjoys at least some things I write.

Oh, and Jesus? Thanks for the long weekend! That whole excruciating-death-and-miraculous-resurrection-to-save-mankind-from-our-sins thing was pretty cool too.

11 comments:

mist1 said...

I can hardly pass a background check. I would totally fail intelligence and aptitude tests.

Maryam in Marrakesh said...

Can I just ell you how curious I am about your job...! Aptitude and intelligence tests! Sounds so intriguing...

mutleythedog said...

Is it a test in mopping and wiping Ms P?

littlesnoring said...

Busted! You can't use the I am not as smart as you think trick for long.. someone has discovered your genius, now you are stuck living up to your reputation... good luck.

jan said...

I spent two years in a job where I was paid to write reports that others were paid to read. Would you be surprised to learn that they were government jobs? I didn't think so.

Lonie Polony said...

Mist: You'd be surprised at some of the people that seem to have passed these tests. Makes 'em kind of a joke.

Maryam: Sadly, not as intriguing as you think - just a normal, boring public service job as a lowly minion. We also had to have rigorous health checks before my department employed us, but they still let the obese/chain smokers/ill people in after those tests too. Conclude what you will from that...

Mutley: Might as well have been. I'd probably be of more practical use as a cleaner.

Littlesnoring: Glad you think so! While I was away on leave, someone from my team was 'asked to leave' for a gross error in judgement. The waiting for all hell to break loose 'cos I've stuffed up majorly is hanging over me like the sword of Damocles.

Lol Jan! Sounds like my job exactly. Don't tell anyone, but I don't know that my contribution is even approaching indispensibility.

mutleythedog said...

Hope you're having a nice holiday weekend. Or is it not Easter in Aussieland?

Lonie Polony said...

'Tis, Mr Mutley. Just not Spring.

redcap said...

I think that behind my back, my friends calls me "Arrfuckitthatlldo". And I'm now paying the price, since I'm days late with an entire bloody magazine. Not a very good magazine, but printed material nonetheless. Arrfuckitthatlldo.

mutleythedog said...

How is work going Ms P?

Lonie Polony said...

:( Not good Mutley. In all seriousness, I am close to tears with the pressure and anxiety. Of course, I've cried at nearly every job I've had, so I'm not sure that's such a dramatic statement. I need some of that Redcap attitude.